Chapter 82
“Do you really believe me? Xue Jiayue!”
Xu Yanwen’s handsome face instantly sank, even the surrounding temperature lowered a few degrees, and Xue Jiayue could not help but shiver.
“I ……” Xue Jiayue opened her mouth.
“You don’t believe me at all, do you?” Before Xue Jiayue finished speaking, Xu Yanwen interrupted her.
He immediately saw through Xue Jiayue’s thoughts, and the joy he felt from Xue Jiayue taking the initiative to hold him disappeared in an instant. He was completely caught off guard when she took the initiative just now, so he couldn’t think normally.
But now that he thinks about it, she holds his hands on her accord and said that she believed him was entirely to appease his mood so that he wouldn’t quarrel with Cheng Wei. He ignored this point, but now that he calmed down and figure it out, Xue Jiayue did this not because she really believed him but to help Cheng Wei.
The next moment, Xu Yanwen let go of Xue Jiayue’s hand. Without the hand wrapping, Xue Jiayue’s hand felt suddenly chilly as if the wind has kept on blowing up to her heart.
Xue Jiayue’s fingers moved and couldn’t help but shrink them into a ball as if that would make it better.
Before she could figure out how to answer Xu Yanwen’s question, Xu Yanwen’s low voice came to her ears.
“Xue Jiayue, you used to say that you like me, want to marry me, and even go out of your way to ensnare me, but in fact, you’re lying to me, right?”
“Huh?”
Xue Jiayue was a little confused, she does not know how to answer this. If he was only asking if she liked him, she knew the original owner really liked him for a long time. Otherwise, she wouldn’t scheme to marry him. And even after she was sent to the mental hospital, in the end, she was still thinking about him.
But why would he ask that now? He thought she was lying to him? How could the word “lie” be used? The original body has given so much to him, but he treats it as invisible, and just as a lie to him?
Xue Jiayue didn’t understand, and so was Xu Yanwen. He recalled the words Xue Jiayue once said in his mind.
“I don’t love him at all. I only love his money. If I marry him, I can be Mrs. Xu and have no worries about food and clothing all my life!”
“…… You can’t blame me for my despicable tactics, who let me be poor?”
Xu Yanwen shook his head and threw those uncomfortable words out of his mind. He stared at Xue Jiayue in front of him, trying to see all the expressions on her face with his eyes, wanting to see into her thoughts, and see what she was thinking.
But unfortunately, he couldn’t. And with difficulty, he asked the words that has been disturbing him for a while.
“Xue Jiayue, have you ever really liked me or not?”
Hearing his question, Xue Jiayue suddenly felt ridiculous, when her original body was so in love with him, he said again and again that he only had brother-sister love for her and a love for a man to a woman. He also kneeled with his back straight to Elder Xu, asking him to retract his decision, not wishing to marry her.
Now she doesn’t know where her original body has gone. She was now her, but she doesn’t want to follow the original plot and doesn’t want to like him anymore. She just hopes that he and the female lead would have an early HE soon and let go of her, the cannon fodder.
Yet, here he was asking if she ever like him? Was he sick?
“Answer me!” Seeing Xue Jiayue lost in her thoughts and not answering him, Xu Yanwen grabbed Xue Jiayue’s arm and stared at Xue Jiayue deeply, reflecting Xue Jiayue’s shadow in his black eyes.
Xue Jiayue couldn’t help smiling at his sulky face and said.
“I should be the one asking you this. Have you really liked me? Where was your heart when I used to like you?”
Xu Yanwen was slightly stunned for a moment and said with difficulty.
“We are husband and wife.”
“Yes, we are a couple, but it was me who corner you.”
Xue Jiayue’s heart suddenly surged with a strange emotion, she felt that it was not like her own emotions, but she couldn’t put it under her control. She went straight to Xu Yanwen and said what was on her mind.
“I tried so hard to love you, to please you, to do everything I could, but you pushed me away, again and again, broke my heart, and made me sad again and again, how you ever, ever liked me?”
After taking a breath, Xue Jiayue continued.
“I gradually understood and figured out, then learned not to like you but to live my own life instead and try to change myself. And yet here you are suddenly come to ask me such a question? Do you find it interesting? Is it fun to tease me?”
The first half of what Xue Jiayue said was the consciousness left over the original body and it was also the question that her original body has always wanted to ask. The second half of the words were what Xue Jiayue wants to say. Since she crosses over, she has been trying to seek change, trying to adapt to this time and space, and waiting for a suitable opportunity to stay away from Xu Yanwen.
However, the development of events did not seem to be transferred according to her will. Some things were changing and became inconsistent with the original plot, which was beyond her control.
Xu Yanwen was the biggest variable in this, he was a living individual, a thinking person, when the surrounding personnel changed, his thoughts also changed.
Xue Jiayue’s words undoubtedly hit him in the head. Originally, he was still angry about Xue Jiayue’s attitude towards Cheng Wei and felt that she did not trust him enough. At the hospital, he found that Cheng Wei’s feelings for her were not ordinary, and the two people were too good, even better than the relationship between ordinary colleagues.
At that time, he thought it was because of Cheng Wei, but hearing what Xue Jiayue said, he immediately understood, that the problem lies not in Xue Jiayue, nor Cheng Wei, but him. It was his original rejection and denial that hurt Xue Jiayue’s heart and pushed her away, causing her to want to shrink back and no longer think of him as before.
This realization let Xu Yanwen vent at once, just like a round balloon, which was filled with a lot of gas and was more inflated, it was about to burst at any time. Suddenly, the balloon was pricked by a needle, and the gas suddenly leaked out, and the whole thing wilted, and could not explode again.
Now Xu Yanwen was the balloon that loses its power to explode.
“I’m sorry, Jiayue, I shouldn’t be angry with you, it’s my fault, I was wrong.”
Xu Yanwen took the initiative to apologize to Xue Jiayue and tried to reach out to take Xue Jiayue’s hand again, wanting to reconcile.
But this time, Xue Jiayue took her hand back and didn’t let him pull it. The meaning of rejection was very obvious.
“Things are not as simple as you say, you can’t just say whatever you want just because you are angry and even if you’re not. You can’t just casually coax me, say an apology, and just because you want us to reconcile and we can immediately make up, everyone has their own temper, it’s not that anyone has to accommodate someone and whoever leaves will not be able to survive.”
Xue Jiayue said faintly, “I am tired.”
Not only the person was tired, but so was her heart.
Xu Yanwen was stunned. He looked at Xue Jiayue with a sense of panic. He hurriedly wanted to pull Xue Jiayue’s hand again.
This time, Xue Jiayue couldn’t escape and was caught by Xu Yanwen. Xue Jiayue just wanted to get rid of it, but Xu Yanwen found her intention. He quickly held her hand tightly, stared at her with both eyes, and said seriously.
“Jiayue, if you’re tired, take a break, let me catch up with you, and take care of you just like you did before, I’ll try my best to treat you as you did to me.”
He was not only talking about physical rest but also her heart and feelings. He was begging her for reconciliation and wanted to make up with her like before so that she could give him a chance to get back together.
But how was that possible?
Feelings were like porcelain once there were cracks, even if repaired, they could still see cracks in it ah!
Besides, Xue Jiayue was no longer the original Xue Jiayue, she does not have such deep feelings for him, even if the original body left those attachments and love for him, but in the case of knowing that their end would not be good, those feelings have long been suppressed, and even if there was left, it was only a little.
Xue Jiayue raised her eyes to look at Xu Yanwen, curved the corners of her mouth, and smiled at Xu Yanwen. Her smile was so beautiful and sweet that Xu Yanwen’s heart surged with a trace of hope, but the next second Xue Jiayue said something that made Xu Yanwen’s heart swing to the bottom again.
“Don’t force yourself. We made a wrong decision from the beginning. Why should we insist? During these days, you and I have been careful, walking on thin ice, trying to maintain harmony and warmth on the surface, but in fact, these are just illusions. You are tired, I am tired, and everyone is unhappy so why bother?”
Xue Jiayue seemed to be not only talking to him but as well as herself.
Xu Yanwen has never been so powerless. He used to think that his feelings for Xue Jiayue were like how a brother for his sister and was troubled by her feelings towards him instead, he also resented her words “only value his money, not him”. He even couldn’t put down the knot in his heart to accept her, ignored her again and again, and pushed her away.
But when the person in front of him said she was tired and she didn’t want to continue, he felt flustered again, like the sand in his hand slipping from his fingers, making him even more confused about what to do.
He used to think that as he grew older and more experienced, he became handier in dealing with everything, and there was no problem that he couldn’t solve.
But now, right in front of him, there was a problem that he couldn’t even handle well.
He said he wanted to take care of her, but he never took good care of her, he gave her a lot of what he thought she wanted, but those were never what she wanted, he seems to have been working in the wrong direction.
Although the rational analysis was like this, but emotionally Xu Yanwen does not want to admit that he just failed, he does not want to admit defeat yet. Xue Jiayue who grew up with him since childhood was a soft-hearted and kind-hearted girl, if he sincerely wins her back, she should give him this opportunity.
He took Xue Jiayue’s hand and said.
“Jiayue, I’ve been working hard these days. Will you give me another chance? Don’t judge me out for this matter today, okay?”
Xue Jiayue finally understood and sorted out all the clues. No wonder she thought Xu Yanwen’s attitude was abnormal these days. At that time, she didn’t understand what was going on, and she didn’t pay attention to her carelessness. Now she understands Xu Yanwen’s meaning.
“You said we should talk things out and be frank with each other. Listen to grandpa’s arrangement and go back to the old house every weekend, all of these are your plans, aren’t they?”
From the beginning, she felt something was wrong, but she never notices anything amiss. Now she finally understood that it was so.
He didn’t expect Xue Jiayue to find out his plans so soon, but at this time, Xu Yanwen couldn’t admit it even if it killed him.
He hurriedly said, “it’s not what you think…”
“He!” Xue Jiayue sneered and shook off his hand before leaving.
Feeling his hand empty, unable to hold Xue Jiayue’s hands again, and seeing Xue Jiayue was about to turn around and leave.
There was a voice in his heart telling Xu Yanwen that their problem had not been solved, and he could not let her go like this. If he let her go like this, she would really fly away like a kite with no strings.
The next instant, his action was faster than his brain’s reaction, Xu Yanwen took two steps to catch up with Xue Jiayue, from behind and tightly hugged her.
***
The author has something to say: Xu Yanwen: I love you.
Xue Jiayue: “….”
KOTranslation 
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